Courage doesn’t mean that there’s no fear

>> Friday, November 19, 2010

Whenever I shared some of my mischievous adventure in my adolescent hood, I often receive eye-popping, jaw-drop expression from my audience. They consider me bold. Well, I’m not going to tell you about what are the things that interest my listeners, but I’ll share on something else. (If curious, please refer to subject title)

Have you ever taken a ride on a roller coaster, solero shot or tried bungee jumping? Or should I ask, do you dare? Some people, no doubt, have the kind of boldness that loves to engage in dangerous games or activities. Take me for instance; I have no qualms of speaking in public. No amount of fear can creep into my list of emotions that is already overwhelmed by excitement and joy. That is boldness. Boldness is the trait of being willing to undertake things that involve risk or danger. Public speaking is not dangerous, but is threatening. Threatens one’s image!! LOL..

Conversely, there are others that made that choice to conquer the fear in them and courageously take the ride on that roller coaster. Maybe the outcome might cause the person to never ride on it again. But at least he tried!! Courage is the state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution.

Have you ever cheated in a school test? Often than not, we would easily stir courage into treacherous events that sometimes risking our future or betting our lives. However, when did we ever take courage to respond to our conscience??

Question: Have you ever been invited to do something that is opposing your principles and values?

1. Did you follow others without much thought because majority are doing it?
2. Or did you accept such invitations out of obligation to maintain a relationship?
3. Did you keep quiet and smile as you decline?

Fear is the primary causation to all of the above reactions. Hey!! Just be courageous be adherence to moral principles. Do what is intended and say what you mean. Integrity is the best policy to success. Stand firm and say no when invited to share answers in the next test. Courageously speak up when you see others involving in unethical businesses. Tell them the of the principles of your believe and values, explain the consequences and encourage them to return from their wicked ways!! (Hahahaha)

I'm pretty bold in alot of things, but not always courageous in putting things right.
Courage doesn’t mean that there is no fear. We have to overcome that fear courageously.

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smiling back

>> Thursday, July 8, 2010

I'm really enjoying my campus life. Finally, I smiled to the day's end. While closing my day and preparing for tomorrow's lab, I reflect on things that happened in the past few weeks and I smiled at those foolish things I did.

UTAR is worthwhile after all. I'm confident that, if I ever set foot on these grounds again after i graduate, I would be smiling.

Feel that its a waste that only one more year left. Too late to enjoy each others' company. So sad!!!

I love campus life ^^ Let's continue to make it happening and enjoyable..

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Kenna Chua Tze Yin

>> Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Lui Lui~~


It's a red lobster...^^


Not very big la, very small only..about 5cm.



Kenna means red and fiery.. Very fierce leh. Each time I touch it, it will show it's kem kem (Crusher Claw).

How did I know it's a female?? I dunno, wait till it we see eggs la~~

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Food Chem

>> Thursday, May 27, 2010

My food chem lecturer very cute. Remember i told you about the lab lecturer that got angry because i left the lab without permission?? that's her. Met her today to get next sem's notes. Then she flipped through the notes and came across a 3 pages notes which she xerox from a text book and she say we need to memorize all those stuff.

Accidentally, I said "wow, this is so crazy. that's alot to memorize leh. "
Then she said " sometimes a little bit of crazy is good you know??"

GG man

Very bz already. Can't imagine how's my life when the semester starts.

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My trip to Debak, Betong, Sarawak

>> Wednesday, May 26, 2010

When I typed out those 6 words, images are flashing across my mind. I don't know where to start and don't know what to leave out. So I'll let you ask if you really wanna know about the trip. I might gather something and tell u a great story before the weight in my heart causes me to be teary...

I'm blessed because He blesses me
I'm blessed because I can bless you with what He blessed me
I'm blessed because He blesses you too
I'm blessed because you bless others with what He blessed you
I'm blessed because I'm one of the others you blessed

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onion head

>> Monday, May 17, 2010

Holiday liao ah?? hehe..had a slow ride to campus today, what a cool morning. So many people there preparing to go for community service(wei soon~~~were u there too?? or back at home curi tulang-ing??). I also going for CS..but commissioned by God. Leaving for Kuching tmrw at 1.50pm from LCCT with NO delay. Amen


this is my onion head. They say when the shoot started growing, then cannot eat liao ma, so i let it grow..Who say planting need suitable soil?? If dun have good soil, get a suitable plant!!

Try plant cucumber next time. How long does it take to bear fruit ah?

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banana also cannot use

>> Thursday, May 13, 2010


Saw this today at Block B.. "motor"bike leh..can see the peddle? Heard that it cost abt 1K. Better buy a good mountain bike with that money..heh



The brand. POWER!!


Quite good leh, got build in hon, light and signal light summore..cool la


but y all mandarin one?? Banana also cannot buy loh..


The max speed is 60 only..hahaha..quite fast leh. Can go ipoh in about 2 hrs. not bad.
Guess what it is fuel on???


Tadaa~~~brands!! nola, it runs on electric. jz saw this in the front basket.

Wanna buy? 1K only leh..
Got alarm also. Cz i park my bike (w/o motor) next to it, then my super huge bum(dunno is it my bumbum too big or the bike too big) terknock it then it started singing. I walked away.haha What could i do?? pull out the wires? Anyway, it stopped before i stepped into Block A.

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stinky cake

>> Thursday, May 6, 2010

Before the bowl of eggs were poured into the waste, he held back. "What a waste" he thought. But if he goes on the bake, the cake would stink!! Stinks like 臭豆腐. "It wouldn't cause any harm by consuming it. How then can i remove the smell??" He look at that bowl of eggs and covered his nose and shook his head" Ohh, that smell...disgusting!!". So he called up his 'si fu' (teacher) and ask for guidance. "Add some white vinegar!!" Si Fu said.

So he added some white vinegar....

The feast was great, the party was happening and the cake was awesome.

The chef accomplish his mission, the master got his cake and the guests marveled it.

A computer output without any input and processing is a miracle.
An action or comment without consideration is moronic.

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chichibabin reaction

>> Tuesday, May 4, 2010

After sitting one stupid paper, I'm in the slacking mode...haha
So i facebooked. hahahahah I facebook man!! Then I found out that fb has default security that privatize all the personal information. Cz I tot everyone can see everything since i didn't change the degree of security...so i was wondering why some weird ppl still wanna add me when they can see everything...rupa-rupanya they cant, hah...So now i tighten the security liao, cz got ppl abusing the cyberspace. U see, I don't really like it when ppl intruding my private life. Those pictures over there are for friends to see only. Not to circulate as jokes. That's y I stop faceboking. Cz everything I said, I did and I do, the whole world will start to know. Really lor, those are for freinds only. If u're my friend then u hv the privilege to peep into a lil of my life. Others don't get to see bcz they are not my friend. Get it?

Then ah, i also found out that i can delete msn contacts...hahahaha. deleted 50% of my contacts..lolz..if u're reading this blogpost, and u're are a friend of mine in my facebook, then most probably u're still in my msn contact list..

lolz

I just tot that the title sounds very funny..很搞笑
chichibabin reaction is in chapter 1 pg 42 slide 4 organic chem(that's if u're having the same notes as mine...otherwise im not sure what u're having...lol)
Don't ask me why m i still at this chapter.... hee ^^

abit high ah today..lol

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out of place

>> Monday, May 3, 2010

Met a few indian girlfriends to discuss about pass year paper. As I was justifying my answers, girl K ask girl S for clarification. I paused to let them digest. Then they started speaking in their mother tongue and all I understand was "O, double bond, elimination addition". As they were yepping away, suddenly girl S look at me and said

"right??!"

Then I stare at her and shook my head saying "I dunno what r y'all talking about"

So, this is how they feel when we start mandrinize the conversation.

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smells good!!

>> Sunday, May 2, 2010

I boiled soup for dinner.

While I was checking on the soup, I heard someone walking up the stairs. Suddenly, a female voice said
很香哦!很香哦!(Smells good!Smells good!!) as she walks towards the house opposite.
Another voice from inside that house said
我还没开始煮。。。( I haven't started cooking yet...)

I smiled ^^

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!!!!

Everything and everyone has a limit.

Therefore, know its boundary.

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rotten egg

>> Thursday, April 29, 2010

There's a feast for the grand ballroom as the master is on his way home from a business trip. The chef is about to create a marvelous cake for the occasion. This cake require 60 eggs. The chef hand picked all the eggs from the chicken farm and took it to the kitchen.

One by one he broke the eggs into a huge beater bowl. All beautiful yellow. As he crack the 60th egg, a bad smell plonked in into the rest of the eggs in the mixer bowl. The chef went "arghh...That's a bad egg!!"

What would the chef do?

If you were the right hand man to your master, what would you do?

1. Scoop the bad egg out? But would you eat it after the cake is done?(I know of someone that would eat a half rotten pear..i guess he would eat the cake too..teehee)
2. Throw all the eggs away? but there were 59 good eggs. Definitely it can cover that one bad egg. Aww.. c'mone..only 1 bad egg..

He threw the eggs away.

All eggs are doomed due to one rotten egg.

No cake for the master...

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list down: buy milo tomorrow

>> Monday, April 26, 2010

A can of Milo handled like gold, the young girl was astonished to find it hitting the bottom!! So she went out to search for the culprit who stole her Milo. Along the edge of the can she met Mr Ant, and ask: "Mr Ant, did you take my milo?? Because I found it half gone!!". Mr Ant replied:"No my dear. If I were to take your Milo, it would have taken me years to do that."

Oh well...

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black black

>> Sunday, April 25, 2010

Yesterday Kampar ran out of electricity. The whole Kampar. The town was short of electric while i was bathing...damn cold. I bathe up and got out quickly. Then, rained a medium shower and stopped. I tried to catch the light to study and finally gave up cz my head is spinning for stressing my vision.

Decided to go Tesco thinking that it should have a generator for this kinda emergency. Grabbed my wind breaker, notes and off with many other, rushing with kia su-ness. Even the highway was decorated with glitterings from head lights and break lights of vehicles. Everyone in Kampar is jamming into Tesco like sardines. It feels like I'm in one of those "the end of the day" kinda movie. There is this huge, dark rain cloud above us and everyone is cramming into a building hoping to survive the calamity that determine the fate of mankind. And the building was Tesco!! But unfortunately, Tesco was on low power and there's no air cond. Stuffy~~ (* but the cakes are almost half price!!) I think Tesco at Kampar's a survivor. Last time it was flood, now is power jam. I wonder how much loss they are facing for the refrigerator looses it's chill every other time.

Met a friend and went to get food and study at Old Town kopitiam at Medan Gopeng. Heard that the power came back arnd 8.30pm.

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Beware of wild animals

>> Saturday, April 24, 2010

My friend came to look for me from westlake. After dinner, we decided to sneak a stroll in UTAR at 8.00pm. We went through Block J, which is the engineering workshop, then Block H..then we saw this "Beware of wild animal" sign at the end. So funny. why would the management wanna build the campus right next to the forest? Why not clear it far enough so that even there are wild animals, it is visible. Can u imagine you park you car/bike/bicycle then the next thing you know, some bear start playing with it like toy. LOL.

Then we took a forbidden ride on the inner pavement between the lake and the buildings. Those cyclist we used to see them passing during luncheon. That path is so called forbidden la. Still, everyone cycle there, riding their way to the next lecture.

UTAR is so beautiful. The campus is very beautiful. I feel very privileged to study here. In the future, after I graduate, when I get a chance to step into UTAR again, will there be a smile on my face? But so far, no precious memory yet. Nvm, I still have 1 more year. I shall make it as fun as possible. Lets explode one of the lab and get into alot of troubles so we get to giggle about it 10 years later.

快乐是自己制造的, 不是人家给的。

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going home

>> Friday, April 23, 2010

I always thought that those people that always go home are weak. YES!! That's what I always think. Go home for what??

1. waste money
2. waste time
3. you wont be able to study
4. cannot focus on ur responsibility as a student


So not independent. Mommy's boy/girl..weak!

Then i found out that i am wrong. As a child, I should go home. To visit my parents, to show them that I'm well and whole. Going home is something i should fulfill as a child.

Actually i miss home. 2nd time i ever miss home...that's a good thing.

The reason I'm missing home bcz i cant cope with a certain thing and i need someone to talk to.

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Life is shorter day by day

>> Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Final exam is 10 days away. Utilize your time wisely.

Life is short, but we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time.

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when we talk about sexism

>> Saturday, April 17, 2010

Woman are very emotional. I totally agree with that. Female judges things according to their feelings and allows such emotion to direct most of their thoughts.

But
Whats wrong with that?
why do we get attack for being emotional?
Is it wrong to be emotional?

Guys always criticizes us for being too emotional. A baby less than 18 months require the mothers love. That's because the mother is emotional thus she is sensitive enough to meet the need. U needed that once and now you're all grown up and suddenly being emotional is a bad habit? We really feel worthless because we posses such qualities. Because you have turn quality into filthy, disgusting bad habits. We are so emotional liao then u all go attack us emotionally. GG. No wonder we are all emo lah..

There is nothing wrong if we make our decision base on our emotions. Just a different way of evaluating.

We think guys are egoistic. But we never categorize it under a poor habit. It is what make u man.

We are emotional. It is a characteristic that marks our identity--female.
okay?

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PoOoOoOoOott

>> Friday, April 16, 2010



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wanna be a scientist??

>> Friday, April 9, 2010

My mother made me a scientist without ever intending to. Every other Jewish mother in Brooklyn would ask her child after school, "So? Did you learn anything today?" But not my mother. "Izzy," she would say, "did you ask a good question today?" That difference - asking good questions - made me become a scientist. ~Isidor Isaac Rabi

Sharing ideas on T-Shirt designs. Browsing for quotes to print on the shirt. I like this other quote better

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. ~Wernher Von Braun

Sounds like me....lolz

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what was I?

>> Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I was disturbed by the thoughts that is in my head until I saw 2 organolithium attacking me and i was deformed into a monster called carbonyl.
Guess what was I?

oh what a dream...scary isn't it? I've never in my life dreamt of the stuff i studied. I hope the torture he had for us will do us good.

And this carbonyl is so keh poh. Stupid double bond that would react with everything. Alot to memorize leh..no joke..to make things worse, I forgot everything in the chapter I did in a mid term last Thursdays. Sumore I didnt remember everything and I couldn't even retain any of the memory. My brain craves the liberty from suffocation of organic compounds. Hope those diethyl ether i used in a synthesis last week doesn't numb my brain. I found out it has anesthetic property while bringing my report to completion. No wonder we were all laughing in the lab. What a joke.

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I have a dream

>> Monday, April 5, 2010

a song to sing~~
bah, i cant sing very well..hehe

okay, let me tell u my idea of a simple life. A simple life is to find something I like to do, and then build up the skills so that can work freelance. Then I can have all the time in the world to do other things. Things like serving, traveling, visiting to kampung and stay there for a few months, go for bible classes, learn new stuff and bla bla bla.

Staring at the paper I was scribbling reminded me of a girl I met a few months back. She's very pretty(i have to say this). She's young and is an interior decorator. She came to my sis's shop with a client looking for a reasonable quote. She's a freelance. How does a freelance survive? Our very own interior designer would hv jobs everyday and own a better job security in that sense. So, how does she survive? The thing with gift is that you do very well in things effortlessly. I know of many friends who can do something very well that they don't need to belong in a company to survive. Clients all over will go hunting for them. They're wanted.

It came to me that if I do have such talents, I could freelance!! I don't need a luxury home or a flashy car. I'll just rent an apartment cz Im mobile. I'll work hard a few years, earn enough and go places, serve God and do stuff. Then I'll do that again. I'll buy a second hand car, sell it when i dun need it. Cool ah.

Simple isn't it?

but the things is, I dun have such talent.
I'm not an artistic person. I cant draw, paint, craft or even design.
I'm no entertainer. I can barely sing or dance.
I'm no musician. I enjoy listening to others but I cant play an instrument well.
Academically, my maths is poor, chemistry is making and language is ok.
I dun have computer skill, cant bake and cookery is for my own's stomach pleasure.
So, what can I do?

But then again, no one would want to do that with me for the rest of his life. So unpredictable.

Can i trade my man for a talent, O Lord? If I ever find that man...lolz

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Just do it

>> Wednesday, March 31, 2010

When you have a good friend that is willing to listen at your worse situation, you'll began to miss that friend when you have problems at other part of your life.
I communicate with God alot nowadays. Showing my displeasure and asking for Him to heal me as often as I could to walk tall again. So I began to miss Him alot nowadays, hoping that I could just be in Him arms because I know He can comfort me.

I heard alot these few days. All the negative feedback on the activities that we're working on. I wanted to complain, wanted to show my disagreement and pain. It hurts alot when the people don't give their support and at the same time criticize you for what you do.

I could just burst and yell and leave all of you the way you are before Chemistry Society. But I want to press on. Because God told me, via a very elderly lady today, that if what I do is for the benefit of others, dun give up because there are no response, press on because you've made it come to pass for that little that responded. Success is not the amount of people attending your nite comparing to other society. Success is not their response to that exhibition. Success is Joshua 1:8

I thank those of you who tried to comfort me by telling me how to market my activities. But I dun want marketing strategies. Making them think that they need through lies. I want them to know, really know why we r doing this and why they need to join us. This lady really light me up and put me on fire. Thank you God.

My heart is weary. Still is. I could post a bad post. I could say alot, complain and counter all of you and condamn your blunt attitude. But I choose to write this, to also encourage you that your reward will be in heaven. Have a strong heart.

My eyes are opened. I do because I know it is good for them. Not because I want to have a good respond so that I can brag about it. I do it because it is a good thing to do. I will refer to my purpose again, write it down so that I wont forget it. I wont stop. I shall not be broken.

God please sustain me
for I am your good and faithful child.

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frying pan

>> Sunday, March 21, 2010



I had to tell u this joke.

A problem if you're ignorant and lacking in general information. A huge problem when you're ignorant and don't understand a topic being discussed.

During a class last week, my lecturer asked where can we find Teflon in our daily use?
Frying pan of course.
But my fren, after a few minutes, pick up his pen and wave it in the air and said " flying pen?"
I'm not trying to shame him by joking about his poor English command but the fact that he has such thought in his mind. The lecturer posted a very serious question here and most of the student answered with confident. And here we have him fixing an image of a flying pen in his mind which is totally absurd in such a serious discussion is really humourous. He would actually thought that a flying pen is the correct answer at that time. But i guess after a few moment he realized it's not logical that's why he asked me.

And I was wondering why he kept looking at his pen. Was he trying to figure out which part was made out of Teflon?

I didn't laugh at that time. But i was laughing about it just now all by myself. Thank God no one is at home...

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twitter

I've decided to check my twitter...for God knows what..most probably emails or msges from frens. And found nothing. Cz they are only twits from ppl connected to me.

I don't tweet, cz im not a bird.

I had twitter account out of curiosity with only one tweet. I dun get the point of twitter. Plus, I'm a very lazy person, I hope to store all my stuff at one place, and when i need them, I'll just go to that place and I'll know for certain that it would be there. So when i need my friends, I'll go to facebook. hahahahah. I cant afford to check emails, blogs , facebook, friendster, my space, bla bla bla and twitter to catch up with u guys man. Just stay at one place, please!!

So there is nothing on twitter. Then now, I can permanently erase another password from my brain.

LOL..

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watch out!!

>> Saturday, March 20, 2010


nice leh...
that's what u're gonna wear.

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choice over chance

>> Friday, March 19, 2010

Is it better to have a choice for a chance or to have a chance for a choice?

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happily ever after

>> Friday, March 12, 2010

Good news girls: My 90+ grandma with 16 children told me that girls with bigger thighs will have more strength 有力 during labour. That's the first time I heard some woman complimenting someone who is fat. haha

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Female are more polite when they converse?

>> Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I made my lecturer very angry today.

I was having practical and the experiments required alot of waiting. So I went to DSA to get the newspaper, bought a text book and look for Dr Yip.

When I came back, immediately she asked me where have I disappeared to. So I told her I went to look for Dr Yip to get away with it.
Then,She scolded me like this "Dr. Yip! Dr. Yip! Dr. Yip!! Everyday Dr. Yip. This is my lab not Dr. Yip's lab."

I was dumbfounded. How did she know I look for him all the time? She's jz my lab lecturer. I only see her once fortnightly. Was she jealous? I almost asked. Luckily I didn't. I feel so bad I made her so so so angry. Later, I found out that she kept asking where was I. I wonder if she could still concentrate on the book she was reading after she found out that I left the class without permission. Cz that day, I was angry about something, I couldn't concentrate on the lecture. Felt so bad..hahaha

I know, today I abit blur, I should hv waited until she let us sign the attendance before carrying out my mischievous plan...

Haih...Female lecturers..will she hate Dr. Yip bcz of me?? Oh dear!!

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Clock in a box

>> Tuesday, March 9, 2010

When you are given an empty box with nothing to put, you tend to just dump whatever inside. Then when you have something important to store, like jewels, you'll just squeeze it into the almost filled box. As days passed, you realized that you needed more space to store your jewels. But jewels are precious and costly, you wouldn't want to just chuck it in that junk box.

Time is a precious commodity with a low ceiling. I would illustrate time as a box in my life. When I was young, I would fill my time with sailor moon(something like dragon ball), barbie dolls, digimon, hunting for butterflies and climbing trees because of the little responsibility I have. In my teenage years, I would hang out at mamak for hours, cyber cafe, malls and snooker centre. In my uni life, I would fill my time with drama series, lab reports, drama series, assignments, drama series, church activities, drama series, swimming, gym and all. Due to the empty spaces in my box, I would try to fill it with whatever i want. When important things needed to be done, I would struggle and do them last minute. Whenever I have a long recess between my classes, I would watch my drama series thinking that I still have time for my reports and leave them till the last second. So when I'm doing my lab reports, I always wonder why do i have to suffer for it? That's because I'm just trying to squeeze my jewel in the box filled with junks.

Now, I have more commitments to make because I joined a society which requires a huge space of my very full box. I struggled alot at first but I began to see that these stuff are quite regular. My timetable is fixed and my church activities are fixed. So, I'll set aside those time and shift my remaining time to slot in my reportsssss and society stuff. Whenever i have an empty slot, I would utilized it with my work instead of drama now. I even do my lab report in the ktm. I don't really have time for drama series, but i still do watch them now and then when i have the time.

I've learned to prioritize my stuff. I've learned to do what is needed instead of what is wanted. I've learn to empty the box, put my jewels in first and then I'll throw in anything that is less important.

I'm so tired and I want to sleep now, but i need to study for a quiz tomorrow.

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STOP!! wait for me...

>> Friday, March 5, 2010

Can I not take part in most of the upcoming events? Can i also just be an ordinary audience and not contribute?? Can i also skip service and cell group because
1. I have mid terms
2. I have assignments
3. I have quizzes
4. I have a wedding to attend to
5. I have alot to do.

when u're loaded, ur brain is active. I'm starting to do things very quickly now. Even my fone cannot catch up with me. I'm able to memorize the contact list so well, after hitting the down button the number of times needed to get me the contact i want, i still need to wait 3 sec for it to scroll. While typing a msg, Im on the third word and it's still on the third letter. My body also cannot cope. Like when im typing the first email, my brain has construct the third email with additional two other task. Like when my alarms ring in the morning, my brain would start working and causes my body to get up and work too. In actual fact, I wanted to sleep so much. Yesterday, i was talking and half asleep. My brain was thinking "what's next, what's next, what's next" , my mouth went "chomp chomp chomp" and my eyes went"I'm shutting off". Multitasking weh...I wonder if he'd think that i was sleep talking or was i really giving him a dictation. lol

So very active until I cant catch up with my brain. Its a few yards away with an increase velocity. I need to run faster. Gotta train on the treadmill to do that. heh

It turn out that, nowadays, i would so often flush the toilet before i pee..

LOL

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KTM

>> Wednesday, March 3, 2010

You can actually purchase KTM tickets online with a debit card. I'm using Pbb visa electron, so i'm not sure about other debit cards. But i guess Mbb also can cz their representative bank is Mbb.

Ohh~ my first online purchase, other than the one that I paid for registration to NTU,Singapore. That's with mom's credit card, not counted. heee..

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Chap Goh Meh

>> Monday, March 1, 2010

The moon is like a spot light.

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quite bias

>> Sunday, February 28, 2010

Please help yourself to

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Irena+Chua

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Irena+Chua

to evaluate me. I'll prefer that u do the nohari ones. hehe

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this is my 203 post..haha..i'm faster than u, dramaking~~

>> Friday, February 26, 2010

When a sponge looses it's ability to absorb and retain any liquid that it's in contact with, then it is of no use. It shall be thrown into the fire. At least it can still provide heat for you before it turn into ashes. I used to sleep in class all the time. Then I learn how to stay awake even when I'm really really tired. But yesterday, I was like that sponge that looses it's ability, to absorb and retain. So what was I doing the whole day? Nothing. I cannot imagine those flexi students, that actually pack their timetable of 6-7 subjects in 3-4 days. just because they wanna go home, play or pak tor.


When you're demanding for something, remember to come with humility and courtesy. Don't come empty handed to barter. Some people, when they demand for something, or when they want to see a change, all they do is make comments then sit back and wait for it to happen. Just like in a classroom, the students demand that certain things should be done to preserve the flow of the lecture classes by
preparing notes for all the students before lecture, at the same time
make sure that projector and laptop is properly set for lectures, at the same time
know all the information about the lecturers, at the same time
know all other information(eg. when wanna pay bills)...etc
If he doesnt fulfill it, they demand for a change. but no one wanna replace him because they know it's a heavy workload. Since you know it's a heavy workload, and he is not superman, then you should do something rite? Then the students will give one simple comment, He is the rep what, it is his job.
I agree that great power comes great responsibility. But, we can try to reduce the workload by helping once or twice.
I'm not talking about my course rep. It's just an example. My course rep very efficient one, ok? Cz HE HAS BEEN THE COURSE REP SINCE THE FIRST DAY. Oredi trained to be superman liao. My class mates are very helpful too. He has other assistant to help him geh. I think.
My point is, when you demand for something, make sure you try to help to get what you want. Instead of making a fuss like a toddler.


Looking like a fool is better than remaining as a fool.
I used to think I'm very smart. Indeed I am. Compared to my sister, i WAS more favourable cz all my results are 4 flat during kindergarden..haha. I do well in my academic, I can do sports and perform too. I know that I'm more favourable because of the significant difference in treatment from my parents. Then I grow to become very proud and think that I'm very smart.
Thomas Edison said: Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.
So in order not to let others think that I'm stupid, I don't communicate with the teachers in class even when i have something to ask. So most of the time, the thing would just pass me and I still don't know what I don't know. Then I change. I do ask my lecturer, my classmates and other people when I have problems in my understanding. I may look like a fool asking stupid question at times but I rather look like a fool than to remain as a fool.

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RED is never my favourite colour

>> Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Usually I'll follow my parents back to my mom's hometown, Kuching, Sarawak every Chinese New Year. This year, we just lazed around in pj/kl. I've never celebrated the red, loud season here before. I think I did stay back for CNY, just that the memory slipped.

In Kuching, our CNY is more like a vacation. We'd visit all the favourite food stalls, even if all were close, we had to check it out despite the experience over the decades. Then, we'll visit all the relatives, friends, relative's friends and friend's friends just to see their elaborately decorated house. Now you know why my house look more like Balinese resort. Then we'll try to do all the visiting, eating and shopping in 4-7 days.

This year is different. Kl has a different culture. So we visited some of our relatives and spend most of the time united as a family. The five of us would go shopping, eating KFC, shopping, visiting, shopping, trying to catch a movie(trying bcz we didn't catch one), shopping and shopping. NO, a new collection from the latest fashion hasn't been added to my wardrobe. I want to invest, remember? So, I really enjoy my holidays. At least it's not cramming all the stuff in a few days.

With so much time and so little to accomplish, my 10 days break from uni seems longer. I can study, do all my assignments, do all my reports and study for the next quiz and play. Feels more like a holiday. You know, have you ever see the sun rise? When u wake up very early and wait for the sun, the morning seem longer and you can enjoy the great view. Rather than waking up late for class, rush and by the time you're fully booted, the sun is already at the top of your head.

So I did enjoy and I really feel the CNY mood this year.

I'm such a workaholic. I did all my school work in between and I frown when parents didn't tell me the day before that they planned to go shopping yesterday. I mean I would have gotten up 4 hours earlier to study!

So I did my school work 6 hours straight after those shoppingssssss.

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Skills, What money cannot buy...

>> Friday, February 12, 2010

Soft skills "people skills," -- are personal attributes that enhance an individual's interactions, job performance and career prospects. (click to see attributes of soft skills)

Hard skills -- specific, teachable abilities that may be required in a given context, such as a job or university application. (if u've click on the link for soft skills, im sure u're kepoh enuf to click on this one too..=) )

How many points have u collected for soft skills? I have zero. I'm not planning to gain any soft skills points through the UTAR way bcz i think it is kinda useless. Useless in the sense that everyone is trying to buy soft skills at such a great price but actually it is zero value for cost. Zero it's because when you can't even remember the knowledge for that semester, how would you remember anything that is one off? Soft skills cannot be learn through 9 hours lecture classes like hard skills. Those are the skills which must be encounter with. Namanya soft skills, so those attributes are not teachable by listening to some expert telling u what to do at any situation. See?? It say people skills, meaning you've got to deal with many many people to be equipped with the right soft skills.

Many people were deceived, by our officer with very good soft skills, about how those points can broaden our way to a high income job. Do you think that your future managers are blind or deaf? They can see what, weather you are capable or not. It's like a dog trying to disguise as man, when he tries to talk, all that we can hear were "woofs". You are not fooling anyone but yourselves.

All that effort about trying to gain soft skills are undoubtly usefull provided it is put into practice. So if you claim that you've master all the category in our soft skill programs, then how cone I don't see any difference in you? So many students sign up for the soft skill classes, but there is no shift in culture paradigm. Everything remain almost the same. Yeah, maybe cafeteria has turn out to be abit noisier.

Action speaks louder than words though!

I'm not attacking anyone here. Please stop thinking that i'm posting to target a certain individual. Dun be so perasan ok? I know one. U all always think i'm trying to cucuk you. I don't do that, If I wanna give a piece of private advice, I'll just throw it at your face. More effective ma.

Since all of u abit blur, my main point is,

Stop climbing the ladder which is on the wrong building and, after that, regret that you're at the wrong peak when u get to the top.

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Bah! Just go and sleep

>> Thursday, February 11, 2010

Good Morning!!

You know, you should sleep when it is time to sleep. That's like 2am till 10am. That's when everyone sleeps. No one will msg u, call u, msn u or knock on your room door.

I had
6 msges
3 missed calls
1 answered call and
1 knock on my door which i ignored. cz if it was important, he'd open the door instead of walking away.

You can always open my door when im asleep cz i don't lock my door and i don't sleep naked. My sis does that all the time when she needs my rescue from the cockroaches. I dun understand why those ugly wicked creatures love to lepak in her room and scare the wit outta her. Poor girl. What's she gonna do when she gets married? Marry me over to deal with the roaches?
I DOWAN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i hope those little rascal don't follow her down the aisle.

Anyway, back to me. It always happens when i sleep. So laku man. When I'm awake, my fone barely makes a move(vibrate)!!

I NEED SOME PEACE HERE!!

I should just dump the fone into the toilet bowl or something, right? I know u're gonna ask me to shut my fone up. I can't. I'm wanted now. So wanted. haha..

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dun eat too much medicine lor..take care of yourselves

>> Sunday, February 7, 2010

Once, I asked my lecturer if it is possible to obtain a 100% pure compound in a recrystallization or extraction process. Theoretically, it is possible (theory wad). Experiments shows that it is not possible. Impurities are bound to attach to the compound that we're synthesizing.

When u pop a Panadol the last time you have ache in your head, how would you know that that tablet would do what it was created for? A chemist would know that a single impurities would cost your biological system to malfunction and take your life. So the question is, are your medicines safe?

It is safe lah. Certainly. That's why we need engineers. The engineers will do all the calculation to provide the required condition to produce the medicines. That is why prescribe antidotes are costly. The more expensive, the better. So don't go complaining about your local drug store and accuse them of slashing you up with the exorbitant prices. Cz those drugs are far better than generic ones.

Not easy wor if wanna be a chemist.

You see, I got over 400% yield of an insulin in my previous experiment. That's like so contaminated by other elements and ethanol. How am I suppose to continue my report now? Tell them that they are gonna die when they eat the drug that synthesize by me? Ah nvm, tell them that would reduce the pain.
Die earlier = less pain ma..
lol

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i call her Grace

>> Friday, February 5, 2010

Now and then I will sit next to a smart young lady depending on which lecture hall we're in. I've known her for 1 year now ever since i saw her face in the president's list. However, i never really talk to her. Joke joke abit got la. One day last week, during a lecture, i asked her a question. Whoa, she replied me with so much grace, her gentleness flooded over me. I felt warm in that usually cold lecture hall. magic!!

I know I'm a very scary person. haha. I have this face which will normally gv a very scary first impression. What to do, my mom didn't ask me before she gave birth to me what. So, i have this face lor. The truth is, i'm very scary indeed. I surveyed and the results confirms it.

I know that I need to sprinkle a little grace to my attitude to make the people around me feel less intimidated. I've tried so hard and still cannot get the right amount of grace needed to bake a good relationship with people around me. I need to add a little gentleness, quietness and grace. Anyone got the ingredients?

有时候我在想,像我这种人, 会嫁得出去吗?

What makes a person whom everyone wants to be around with? U'll need sugar, spice and fruit of the Spirit.

but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5: 22-23a

got it? got ur recipe?

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ethical responsibility

>> Tuesday, February 2, 2010

When a child is faced with a problem, the child would turn to his parents for advice, shelter and love. At the same time, the parents would dutifully attend to him. Children depend on their parents in all of their ways. They have faith that at dinner time, there will be food on the table to feed his almost empty stomach. On the other hand, it is the parents ethical responsibility to provide and meet their physical and emotional needs.

I realized that i have such ethical responsibility over the people around me. And they are so used to depend on me, it hard to shake them off bcz I'm afraid that they cannot survive without me.

A good parent will look after their child well. Their children's growth is a painful process that their parents must accept. To realize that one day, their children will eventually hit adulthood and MUST leave them. Parents cannot look after their children forever. So, discipline is important.

I came to realize that it time to let them fall, feel the pain and get up on their own. Often, before they can hit the floor, I am already lying at the bottom to cushion them from the hurt that they will have to bear. That's because i know that the pain is indescribable.

Most of the time I will clean up their mess. By doing that, i end up very messy(haha. m i making sense?). So, I will stop doing that.

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I have 2 lab reports

>> Sunday, January 31, 2010

one is due this coming Wednesday, the other is second week of February.

Yesterday I started with the latter. Today, someone reminded me that its only due in two weeks. Shucks!

Oh well..lets do the one that is needed for submission for the coming Wednesday now.

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sex: a shameless love message

>> Saturday, January 30, 2010

When u get straight As in your exam, you'll be in great joy. When anyone is the world gets straight As, undoubtly it would be the happiest day. But one of these scenario when the same treatment is given to two different people, the effect is different. That is sex.

Natural sex is a sexual conduct of a man and a woman, with their consent, which is bounded in marriage. Other than that is unnatural sex.

Currently, I'm googling on rape cases and incest for the moral studies subject. After reading accessible amount of recent news and viewing rape rates by the National Police Department, my heart bleeds. Since sexual freedom has been introduce to the world's society, sexual intercourse is no more an intimate love relationship nor it is a secret wonderland of two individuals. In the olden days, people,without the influence of a sex maniac, don't think about sex all the time. Sex is something that causes a reddened facial expression when it is mention. It is regarded as a love message transmitted via a physical medium called flesh. Nowaday, sex is no longer at the prohibited site from the boundary of our thoughts anymore. People can think of many different ways to ease themselves of their burning desires. Moreover, sex is used as a weapon to create soulless zombies and innocence as the trophy over the weaker opponent. When unnatural sex occurred, it is like snatching the victim soul away. The victim is experiencing a soul death.

When I tried to search for the definition for sex, the meaning of the word is continuously replaced by all sorts of sexual act other than the one I mention earlier. Apart from forced sex, homosexuality, bisexuality, zoo sex(with animal), masturbation and what not, although it is not rape, it still kills. It kills you. Now that is another scientific research and a whole new topic. I'll gv another lecture on that, if I remember and if I have the time. LOL.

Imagine a mother of two is reading a rape news on the local newspaper, the pleasurable memory from her sexual activity with her husband is actually agony to another person(woman, man or children). How then can she enjoy sex anymore? Not only she will have a different mindset on the holy conduct, she will also feel insecure.

Many from the world are trying to find scientific, religious and other proofs to allow the society to accept. A scientific research of animal rape is used to equate these odd act of human to put right a rape. The thing is, if what you are doing is right, u do not need any research to proof your action. When scientific and religious studies is required to excuse your action, then what you are doing it is seriously wrong. You see, no one actually done any research that a zebra should walk on four and not two. Who would do that? It is natural what. So it is for sex after marriage. No one would ever do any in depth findings if sex by two married couples is wrong. That research would only show how foolish you are.

Some people actually tried to find health benefit for sex to promote free sex. Nonsense. It is like muting the world with a fact that coffee has antioxidants from its counter effects of
increased pH
headache
odor discharge
insomnia
increase heart beat rate
lethargic
cardiac problems..cut the crap. not talking about coffee today
When adverse effect is more than beneficial effect, it is clear that if it is a cure or poison to you.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his *wife, and they will (1)become one flesh. The man and his *wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Gen 2:24-25

These immoral conduct is nauseating and I am disgusted, ashamed and disturbed by the holy word: sex. When we defile the meaning of sex, it take huge amount of effort to think that sex is holy, pure, sacred and it is made for good. You might wonder, where is the good now?

*wife is this context means the woman is bound to the man in marriage vows. Not those kind when a bf self-declare his gf as wife.
(1) become one flesh is to have sex.

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somewhere over the rainbow

>> Friday, January 29, 2010

please share my burden
carry my loads for a while
so that i can sit at the pavement
by the narrow path
to take a breath

wipe the sweat and tears off my face
and boost me with a cheer
give a piece of lousy advice
so that i can feel that u cared
even if you don't give a damn

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will u forgive me?

>> Saturday, January 23, 2010

Seems like my last post is sending the wrong msg. After hearing comments all over the world, I decided to read my own post. I sounded angry instead of disappointed. So sorry ppl, I didn't though it would turn out that way.

I've been staring at the screen for 5 minutes now and nothing is coming out for me to continue.

I've got so much to say but i don't know where to start.

So I'll just end here. hahaha

Let me collect my thoughts first then I'll come back in 2 days time. Or less.

XD

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hard to breathe

>> Sunday, January 17, 2010

I'm a person that holds strongly to the principle of "money is important, but it's not everything". This make sense to the degree of generosity that I display. I've always believed that I don't need any return for what little I can give. Often I wonder, what makes a person reluctant in bringing a little kindness to the atmosphere.

Not really expecting any sort of gratitude is totally opposite of being paid with a negative value. The love that I disperse in time, money, efforts and tears had ripped an opening that allows selfishness to slash me unnoticed. Leaving me panting for the abundant air. Not long after, as the wound began to notice, it's the time I needed to siren for help. Then, abandon casually in the cold corner with shadow as comforter, hatred that I struggled to tame began roaring.

Two months now, I step into the daylight with a new insight. Growth is a standard operating procedure to every human system. The direction of expansion which monitored by causation will in fact distinguished us. With vast number of experiments and trial, being less thoughtful can reduce the possibility of dislike between us.

It's ok if you just take whatever you came for and go rather than coming back to punch me one or two and then turn to leave again. Allowing me to remain in states of shock that will turn into hate eventually.

I'm generous.
Still am.
You can still come and take whatever you want. But this time, it comes with a slight warning, that is I'm not stupid. You come and take from me, then repay with hurt and think that you can return for more. What do you think I am? Some idiot?
Generosity does not equate with stupidity.

This time, I'll wait till you ask, then I'll give. Fair enough?

Ask and it will be given Matt7:7
Dont' ask then I won't give.

I'm not God. I'm Irena. Can't you see?

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hard, harder, hardest

>> Saturday, January 9, 2010

Wow, it's Saturday already! One more week and I'll be back to Uni...
Just as I am starting to like my job...
Imagine that. I'm starting to like the job after 2 months. Like signing off an offer letter with self torture as part of the job description. That's sad.

It is hard to like something you don't like.

But it's harder when you found out that you have to exclude something you like from your life.

And it's hardest when you like both, then you can only choose one and exclude the other one from your life.
_____________________________________________________________________

I have 2 friends getting married, to each other. They are both younger than me!! Oh my...When you have frenz getting married, it shows that you're old already.

I'm very old already. But, I don't really care...LOL

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Ask for more

>> Monday, January 4, 2010

Do you know that your parents really love you? Imagine you've walked down the isle for your convocation half an hour ago, then you're to look for a job tomorrow. What would you be thinking now?
1. What kinda job would I get? will i be happy with what im doing?
2. Would I have a good pay? To support my family, my children. In 20 years time, will i have 120k(per child)? 50k for education(for utar students). 50k for a new car(local) when they get their first job. 20 k for wedding.
3. Will I find my dream partner? (LOL..dream partner only exist in dreams, aiye?? Live in reality!!)

On the day the doctor broke the good news to your parents, they've already planned for you. Your education, your first car and your wedding. They might not give you the world, but they've tried to give u everything they can. Sometimes we think we deserve all this or even better. And when we don't get what our friends have, we sulk at our pathetic life. Our parents may not love us the way we wanted, but it doesn't mean they didn't love us with all they have.

Bringing up children is more complex in the 21st century. Considering 30 years ago, your father(lets talk about the provider)had a simpler life. Your grandfather only had to feed your dad. And your dad studied hard, get a scholarship or local U, worked
and supports you
and your barbiedolls(babi-doll)
and your digimon
and your game boy
ans your PS2
and your handphone cum service provider
and your shopping habits
and your make-ups
and your many nights at cyber cafe
and your laptop
and your 100-table-wedding dinner at the grandest place with imported grape wine

Your parents love you. Do you love your children? 30 years from now, can you afford your child what luxury you have now?

My parents really love me. And i really love them now. Stop demanding. Stop asking for more. Stop drinking pepsi. ;oP
Drink water.

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